together not together

by winter sisters

supported by
Jorge Velez
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Jorge Velez beautiful & compelling; a reminder of our humanity when we're too busy with everything else to look in the mirror Favorite track: a witness to hope.
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where there was dirty water.
the smell of someone gone.
two dresses (not worn).
a returning ghost, living with the dust.
(now he wears those glasses.)
(now there is a mountain.)
another way of putting it: stuck.
trying to destroy things that are not there.
a tundra separating me from you, but
no one was there on the beach that night.
somehow it always snows.
(a stillness within motion.)
what's left?
bite marks from the bed.
a leg of babel.
hospital bills.
old words with new meanings.
within and without.
a landscape of.
together not together.


released March 19, 2017

sylvia haynes - singing, guitars (classical & electric), basses (upright and electric), piano, toy piano, drums, percussion (güiro, clave, tambourine, cowbell, shell shaker, congas, bongos), melodica, clarinet, ocarina, glockenspiel, mandolin, sheet metal, noise, dinner bells, scissors, pots (sans pans), fake rain, forgetting

jordaan mason - singing, accordion, reed organ, singing saw and sawing saw, songbird music box, glitch stitching, kitchen clutter, spanking, drawer pulls, being far away, remembering (sometimes)

recorded by sylvia in various basements, bathrooms, and closets and by jordaan in their apartment between winter 2014 and winter 2017

mixed by sylvia haynes

mastered by eric padget/elbaradie at noisenoiseouchstop studios

album art by jordaan mason

*** this album is PWYC // we only have 200 free downloads a month // as such this album is also available over at ***


all rights reserved



winter sisters Alert, Nunavut

they found two dresses in the snow.

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Track Name: buck fever
don't hesitate to linger
don't designate your sin
donate the things you will not use
when your new skin begins

beget the rush of blood
forget the doctors gloves
place my face between your hands, and
burn it on the rug

it was guilt that held my head
down like a dog that knows what it did

do you know there's a place
where they decide how you will look
before you're born, its like "Left in the Sun"
wrote your name down on a thorn
before they warned you
what it would be

do you know there's a face
that you will see before you die
that's so familiar that you'll know it's yours
even though you've never seen it before
and all your fetishes will be no more
and all your feathers will fall to the floor
and all space that you occupied
will relocate to peoples minds, because

all your veins are telephone wires
attached to heads where identities expire
inspire jaundice in the eyes of
jawless gawkers gazing at your chin

we ate
to nauseate

we are pale for a reason

(s. haynes)
Track Name: please do you and harder
what about: bread? skin? stomach acid?
what about: cut my throat! cut my throat!
my dearest friend is dead! fifty-six bullets in his head!

we stood still until it stopped
we were thick - some trick it taught!

stuck in this game of bad cop bad cop
this surgery isn't helping me: please stop!

we cannot concede a thought
we cannot believe we've got

a border between - no papers, no proof
and i cannot crawl on my knees to you

i will wait!
i will crave!
i will wait!
i will cave!

somehow i get further from something tangible
fill my rooms with objects, my love with words
like "please," "do you," and "harder"—

(j. mason)
Track Name: jadwiga
we made a nest out of I.V.s and dialysis machines
went to get groceries and when i returned the floor was
covered with blood and you were busy reading magazines
through your rosy glasses and passing time
was not a factor present
in your mind

tell me a bedtime story
(but i haven't one to tell)
it's getting late
(come and ride the carousel)
sleep is something we all do
(i'm awake for the twelfth time)
every day
(cannot redirect the tides)
tell me a bedtime story
(but i told you i can't stay)
it's getting late
(i am starting to see grey)

repair the rosary
colorize your dreams
into the movie screen
dance how you were seen

leave me the receipt
be my memories
not your disease
leave me the receipt...

(s. haynes / j. mason)
Track Name: not uxorial
we shared a brother skin.
some of me was some of him.
his unkempt hair, his oven burns.
the bruises bashed into his every word.

(did you hit him again?)

i tried to be
what you'd need,
but you wouldn't
let me in, and
i will not fight
what is finite—
you had no home;
you had a prison.

he says, "there's no pleasure."
in my defence, i wanted better.
still, i ask him to chop the onions—
i don’t want to cry in front of him.

i do not think
we can drink
enough to forgive
or forget it.
i tried my best
but i digress:
we both needed someone
to trust, let in.

still, it's bigger than
what we began
we said, "yes," but
we could not usurp
so we made hurt
the only word
and in that way
got what we deserve.

wear a coat, dear, i heard it will be cold.
when you come home, you can take off your clothes.
all i ask is: admit you're a coward.
all i ask is: when you scream, scream louder.
reduce it to a single, useless word.
say it loud even though you won't be heard.
what is the body without organs of a book?
a jaw, a jar, a gesture that i could—
between bars, bar-fights, desire, duct-tape,
parades and parks, a river becoming a lake—
i know i said: simultaneity, but
i cannot be you, and you cannot be me.

so long, friend.

(j. mason)
Track Name: a witness to hope
i'm on my way
i'm oni'm on my way
i'm on my wayi'm on my way
i'm on my way
i'm on my way
i'm on my wayi'm on my wayi'm on my way
i'm on my way
i'm on my wayi'm on my way
y way
imy way
i'm on my way
i'm on my wayon my
i'm o w i'm on my way
i'm on my wayon my
i'm o w my wayi'm on my way
i'm on i'm on my way
my way
i'm on my way
i'm on y wayon my
i'm o w i'm on my wayi'm on my way
i'm on my wayon my
i'm o way
i'm on my way
i'm on my way

(s. haynes)
Track Name: spider / spit
everyone a spider, everyone spit
everyone a fighter, everyone hit
everyone a teethmark, everyone bit
everyone a t-shirt, everyone rip

everyone a riot, everyone rant
everyone a quiet, everyone can't
everyone a rafter, everyone slant
everyone a laughter, everyone chant:

"everyone a spider, everyone spit"

everyone an earthworm, everyone born
everyone a return, everyone mourn
everyone an earthquake, everyone storm
everyone an insect, everyone swarm

everyone a pasture, everyone plant
everyone a could-be, everyone chance
everyone a costume, everyone dance
everyone a splatter, everyone chant

"everyone a spider, everyone spit"

(j. mason / s. haynes)
Track Name: patient in snow (nocturne)
we'll trade our trademarks
but leave them unused
that's not a birthmark
i am just bruised

i drank a cup of ink
i swallowed book binding
your palms are palindromes
my lungs are a metronome

i cannot hear a sound in this place i have found, there is no more ringing
i cannot be swayed by the words that decay your charming secret

i cannot forget what you said:
"silence is the song of the deaf"

we make our list of tasks
we wear our wooden masks
we sing our cryptic song
we live beneath your lawn

i cannot hear a sound in this place i have found, there is no more ringing
i cannot be swayed by the words that decay your charming secret

i cannot forget what you said:
"silence is the song of the deaf"

(s. haynes)
Track Name: stricken (lament)
the hardest
stage of
grief they
didn't mention

is when
you realize
it wasn't
even worth it

(j. mason)
Track Name: earthworms (waltz)
call it whatever you want
but it's coming after me
whenever you are not speaking
i can hear it breathe
don't reach between my legs that's precisely
what it wants
don't taunt the king and the queen today
they're busy hunting foxes

they're busy hunting foxes

we all came down with it, it was a crown of
spiders in our hair
all our screams were drowned out by the carnival of
sickness in the air
funerals every week just to kill
the eggs they laid
why aren't the bites and the webs enough of
a debt to pay

why is everyday the same
yet everything changes
why do the scars on my body heal
yet the bone retains it

she said that he said that he didn't have hands of a surgeon
she said that he said that he had the hands of a farmer

(s. haynes)
Track Name: fix anything
this is an early scar, i said (i hide it under hair)
why shave when i can't even think of a reason for living?

oh wait, sorry - i forgot i love you

i wish i had a different language for this
this one i'm using is running thin on me
sleeping in a closet, clutching you close
hating the way that our forms won't implode

i walked all night through the city only to find
nothing left to steal, all of it is mine
i want wonder and wander and wonder (and)
i don't want to get lost, keep me safe

i am older now
more or less responsible

there's paperwork in a desk drawer
or filing cabinet somewhere to prove this
remember when you wanted to run until your wrists hurt?
remember when you were so good at exploding?

it doesn't fix anything

it's not as easy as "together," "not together"
it's not as easy as "fucking," "not fucking"

it doesn't fix anything

i want to wake up and love everyone again

(j. mason)

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