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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

together not together

by winter sisters

supported by
Jorge Velez
Jorge Velez thumbnail
Jorge Velez beautiful & compelling; a reminder of our humanity when we're too busy with everything else to look in the mirror Favorite track: a witness to hope.
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1.
buck fever 06:01
don't hesitate to linger don't designate your sin donate the things you will not use when your new skin begins beget the rush of blood forget the doctors gloves place my face between your hands, and burn it on the rug it was guilt that held my head down like a dog that knows what it did do you know there's a place where they decide how you will look before you're born, its like "Left in the Sun" wrote your name down on a thorn before they warned you what it would be do you know there's a face that you will see before you die that's so familiar that you'll know it's yours even though you've never seen it before and all your fetishes will be no more and all your feathers will fall to the floor and all space that you occupied will relocate to peoples minds, because all your veins are telephone wires attached to heads where identities expire inspire jaundice in the eyes of jawless gawkers gazing at your chin we ate to nauseate we are pale for a reason (s. haynes)
2.
what about: bread? skin? stomach acid? what about: cut my throat! cut my throat! my dearest friend is dead! fifty-six bullets in his head! we stood still until it stopped we were thick - some trick it taught! stuck in this game of bad cop bad cop this surgery isn't helping me: please stop! we cannot concede a thought we cannot believe we've got a border between - no papers, no proof and i cannot crawl on my knees to you i will wait! i will crave! i will wait! i will cave! somehow i get further from something tangible fill my rooms with objects, my love with words like "please," "do you," and "harder"— (j. mason)
3.
jadwiga 04:59
we made a nest out of I.V.s and dialysis machines went to get groceries and when i returned the floor was covered with blood and you were busy reading magazines through your rosy glasses and passing time was not a factor present in your mind tell me a bedtime story (but i haven't one to tell) it's getting late (come and ride the carousel) sleep is something we all do (i'm awake for the twelfth time) every day (cannot redirect the tides) tell me a bedtime story (but i told you i can't stay) it's getting late (i am starting to see grey) repair the rosary colorize your dreams into the movie screen dance how you were seen leave me the receipt be my memories not your disease leave me the receipt... (s. haynes / j. mason)
4.
not uxorial 08:54
we shared a brother skin. some of me was some of him. his unkempt hair, his oven burns. the bruises bashed into his every word. (did you hit him again?) i tried to be what you'd need, but you wouldn't let me in, and i will not fight what is finite— you had no home; you had a prison. he says, "there's no pleasure." in my defence, i wanted better. still, i ask him to chop the onions— i don’t want to cry in front of him. i do not think we can drink enough to forgive or forget it. i tried my best but i digress: we both needed someone to trust, let in. still, it's bigger than what we began we said, "yes," but we could not usurp so we made hurt the only word and in that way got what we deserve. wear a coat, dear, i heard it will be cold. when you come home, you can take off your clothes. all i ask is: admit you're a coward. all i ask is: when you scream, scream louder. reduce it to a single, useless word. say it loud even though you won't be heard. what is the body without organs of a book? a jaw, a jar, a gesture that i could— between bars, bar-fights, desire, duct-tape, parades and parks, a river becoming a lake— i know i said: simultaneity, but i cannot be you, and you cannot be me. so long, friend. (j. mason)
5.
i'm on my way i'm oni'm on my way i'm on my wayi'm on my way i'm on my way i'm on my way i'm on my wayi'm on my wayi'm on my way i'm on my way i'm on my wayi'm on my way y way imy way i'm on my way i'm on my wayon my i'm o w i'm on my way i'm on my wayon my i'm o w my wayi'm on my way i'm on i'm on my way my way i'm on my way i'm on y wayon my i'm o w i'm on my wayi'm on my way i'm on my wayon my i'm o way i'm on my way i'm on my way (s. haynes)
6.
everyone a spider, everyone spit everyone a fighter, everyone hit everyone a teethmark, everyone bit everyone a t-shirt, everyone rip everyone a riot, everyone rant everyone a quiet, everyone can't everyone a rafter, everyone slant everyone a laughter, everyone chant: "everyone a spider, everyone spit" everyone an earthworm, everyone born everyone a return, everyone mourn everyone an earthquake, everyone storm everyone an insect, everyone swarm everyone a pasture, everyone plant everyone a could-be, everyone chance everyone a costume, everyone dance everyone a splatter, everyone chant "everyone a spider, everyone spit" (j. mason / s. haynes)
7.
we'll trade our trademarks but leave them unused that's not a birthmark i am just bruised i drank a cup of ink i swallowed book binding your palms are palindromes my lungs are a metronome i cannot hear a sound in this place i have found, there is no more ringing i cannot be swayed by the words that decay your charming secret i cannot forget what you said: "silence is the song of the deaf" we make our list of tasks we wear our wooden masks we sing our cryptic song we live beneath your lawn i cannot hear a sound in this place i have found, there is no more ringing i cannot be swayed by the words that decay your charming secret i cannot forget what you said: "silence is the song of the deaf" (s. haynes)
8.
the hardest stage of grief they didn't mention is when you realize it wasn't even worth it (j. mason)
9.
call it whatever you want but it's coming after me whenever you are not speaking i can hear it breathe don't reach between my legs that's precisely what it wants don't taunt the king and the queen today they're busy hunting foxes they're busy hunting foxes we all came down with it, it was a crown of spiders in our hair all our screams were drowned out by the carnival of sickness in the air funerals every week just to kill the eggs they laid why aren't the bites and the webs enough of a debt to pay why is everyday the same yet everything changes why do the scars on my body heal yet the bone retains it she said that he said that he didn't have hands of a surgeon she said that he said that he had the hands of a farmer (s. haynes)
10.
fix anything 06:36
this is an early scar, i said (i hide it under hair) why shave when i can't even think of a reason for living? oh wait, sorry - i forgot i love you i wish i had a different language for this this one i'm using is running thin on me sleeping in a closet, clutching you close hating the way that our forms won't implode i walked all night through the city only to find nothing left to steal, all of it is mine i want wonder and wander and wonder (and) i don't want to get lost, keep me safe i am older now more or less responsible there's paperwork in a desk drawer or filing cabinet somewhere to prove this remember when you wanted to run until your wrists hurt? remember when you were so good at exploding? it doesn't fix anything it's not as easy as "together," "not together" it's not as easy as "fucking," "not fucking" it doesn't fix anything i want to wake up and love everyone again (j. mason)

about

where there was dirty water.
the smell of someone gone.
two dresses (not worn).
a returning ghost, living with the dust.
(now he wears those glasses.)
(now there is a mountain.)
another way of putting it: stuck.
trying to destroy things that are not there.
a tundra separating me from you, but
no one was there on the beach that night.
somehow it always snows.
(a stillness within motion.)
what's left?
bite marks from the bed.
a leg of babel.
hospital bills.
old words with new meanings.
within and without.
a landscape of.
together not together.

credits

released March 19, 2017

sylvia haynes - singing, guitars (classical & electric), basses (upright and electric), piano, toy piano, drums, percussion (güiro, clave, tambourine, cowbell, shell shaker, congas, bongos), melodica, clarinet, ocarina, glockenspiel, mandolin, sheet metal, noise, dinner bells, scissors, pots (sans pans), fake rain, forgetting

jordaan mason - singing, accordion, reed organ, singing saw and sawing saw, songbird music box, glitch stitching, kitchen clutter, spanking, drawer pulls, being far away, remembering (sometimes)

recorded by sylvia in various basements, bathrooms, and closets and by jordaan in their apartment between winter 2014 and winter 2017

mixed by sylvia haynes

mastered by eric padget/elbaradie at noisenoiseouchstop studios

album art by jordaan mason

*** this album is PWYC // we only have 200 free downloads a month // as such this album is also available over at jordaanmason.bandcamp.com/album/together-not-together ***

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winter sisters Alert, Nunavut

they found two dresses in the snow.

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